Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
