her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize