I am spending my child support on dildos
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
