Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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