Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
even my farts smell like vagina
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize