its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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