I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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