you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
