as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
