I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
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