her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
