i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
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