best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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