whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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