I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
