If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I have post one night stand depression
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
