Can i not drive my cunt home
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Last time i carry you out of a forest
He better not be in your backpack
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize
