i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
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