I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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