this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
