Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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