the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
You were trust falling into bushes
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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