I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
sarcasm needs its own font
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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