areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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