great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
