god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
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No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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