Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
