check it out our google latitudes are spooning
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize