i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
either way he was missing a nipple.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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