took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
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Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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