Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
