You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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