My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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