Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Operation Purity has been aborted
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
