I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
