I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
