Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
two words...techno handjob
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
