Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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