I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
So many bounce houses so little time
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
