Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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