So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
if i can run in heels then i can drive
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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