I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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