How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
