That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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