We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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