So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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