Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
