so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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