We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
