Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
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