We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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