I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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