tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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