Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Bring me that man meat
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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