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You're completely useless in the revolution.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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