So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
