I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Randomize
