why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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